My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
