but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
