dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
