Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
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He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
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Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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