dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Holy sore nipples Batman
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
