my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
