he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
