I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do vagina's smell?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
