i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
