Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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