Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
