I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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