where are you?
Hypothermia
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
