i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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