There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
