Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
