I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
