Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
