what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
