You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
