Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
