I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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