Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
