I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
