i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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