i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
