bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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