Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
