I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
