May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
