he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
