If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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