shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
