You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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