I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
