4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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