Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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