I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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