she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
