They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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