I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
