And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
