Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
