And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize