bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
