Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
