Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
