Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
