i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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