the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
