I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
