You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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