In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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