CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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