Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
