so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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