Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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