how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
