Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
